"No. It isn't wicked at all. I know the same about myself. I've taken
cheap things. Biology got me on the wrong tack at first; with a
biological mind I saw everything _via_ the body. Biology's a dragon one
has to slay; that's why, in my work, I've taken to psychology instead.
Love-making! I told you, right at the first, I always made love to
women--. I always have done it, and always should have gone on doing it
if I had never met you."
"But why--if you despise it?"
"I wasn't doing it as an end. It was a means. All the adorable,
tender prettiness of love-making leads to physical love inevitably,
and I always thought and hoped and believed that after it I'd arrive
at some Ultima Thule of understanding, of comradeship, of equality.
Never! Ugh, they were soft! Soft flesh, soft spirit, tricky brain!
Sometimes I have a nightmare of trying to get to heaven up mountains of
woman-flesh--soft, scented stuff, sucking one in like quicksands. You're
the only woman I've ever thought much about and not made love to! To you
I couldn't make love--"
"Whatever is this, then?" she asked faintly.
"This is one king coming to another, asking his alliance, his
comradeship! You there, with that man--that jelly thing! You sicken,
nauseate me. It's like seeing a queen go on the streets! Marcella, you
can't do these things, you know.
Pages:
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509