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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Tea-Table Talk"

We shall be sewn up in a sack and shot
there. At the time I speak of we still had to be content with the
road winding through some of the most magnificent scenery in
Switzerland. I rather enjoyed the drive myself, but my companion
was quite unable to appreciate it. Not because she did not care for
scenery. As she explained to me, she was passionately fond of it.
But her luggage claimed all her attention. There were seventeen
pieces of it altogether, and every time the ancient vehicle lurched
or swayed, which on an average was once every thirty seconds, she
was in terror lest one or more of them should be jerked out. Half
her day was taken up in counting them and re-arranging them, and the
only view in which she was interested was the cloud of dust behind
us. One bonnet-box did contrive during the course of the journey to
make its escape, after which she sat with her arms round as many of
the remaining sixteen articles as she could encompass, and sighed."
"I knew an Italian countess," said the Woman of the World; "she had
been at school with mamma. She never would go half a mile out of
her way for scenery.


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