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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Tea-Table Talk"

He much preferred gingerbread and weak tea with plenty of
sugar; and when we wanted him to leave the kitchen fire and enjoy a
run in the garden, we had to carry him out swearing--I mean he was
swearing, of course. I quite agree with him. I much prefer this
chair on which I am sitting--this 'wooden lumber,' as you term it--
to the most comfortable lump of old red sandstone that the best
furnished cave could possibly afford; and I am degenerate enough to
fancy that I look very nice in this frock--much nicer than my
brothers or sisters to whom it originally belonged: they didn't
know how to make the best of it."
"You would look charming anyhow," I murmured with conviction, "even-
-"
"I know what you are going to say," interrupted the Woman of the
World; "please don't. It's very shocking, and, besides, I don't
agree with you. I should have had a thick, coarse skin, with hair
all over me and nothing by way of a change."
"I am contending," said the Minor Poet, "that what we choose to call
civilisation has done little beyond pandering to our animal desires.
Your argument confirms my theory.


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