What he wanted
was nothing more and nothing less than the bond of true allies: not half
a woman, because of him, but a whole woman, for the same reason. Not to
enslave but to enrich, not to question in time of crisis, but to love
and support, not blindly, but freely and fully. All these things he had
offered her; but he knew they meant nothing if she was unwilling to give
the same in return. Because there is no such thing as one-sided love.
He did not know how he understood these things, or why they had come to
him now, only that he knew them, and that their truth was unbending.
Yes. He would wait for her at the designated time and place. If she
came to him and said she could not do it, and asked his help to rebuild
the things that they had lost, he would remain with her forever.
But if she came to him in mocking triumph---if she ever again spoke to
him as she had---all was finished between them. He would leave her,
leave this place, and never look back. There was no middle ground.
Because he knew finally, defiantly, that he was physically incapable of
being other than himself, and should never have tried to be. The
consequences of rejection would be devastating, and in the cold light of
day he did not know how he would find the will to go on, without her.
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