Whatever
her sins and follies may have been, she paid for them dearly in those
moments. For she saw more clearly and painfully than ever, as much as
if he had been killed, that she loved him beyond all others, almost
beyond her own life. And she knew it as she felt him betray her, and
give the precious love that had been hers alone, to another woman.
Another woman! How could he? After all they had been through..... How
could he think that she wouldn't come back to him, just because for a
time she had been uncertain. Hadn't he driven her to it?
That perhaps it was she who had driven him, that he had given Kataya
something beautiful and desperately needed, that she herself might give
such a precious gift to a man like Stenmark, none of these thoughts
could occur. Because like Kalus or Kataya (or anyone else), she was a
product, and in some measure a victim, of the world in which she had
grown. For she had been taught (though not by her father) that this was
the one, all-consuming act of a man's betrayal, and a thing which
could never be forgiven. And like Barabbas in his rage of righteous
anger, she too cast him out, out of her heart forever.
On a more human level, and in a flood of final tears, like the little
girl bereft of her mother she felt devastated and lost, and swore that
she would never again let anyone come so close, and hurt her so badly.
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