Why was I brought here and left to go
on? Sometimes I think it was just to have one illusion and then another
stripped away, till there's nothing left but the struggle to survive
and not go crazy. And when the last of my illusions are gone..... What
then, Kalus? What's left?' He thought for a moment, deeply, then
raised his head and answered.
'Life.' He touched his breast. 'What is here inside us.
Perhaps that is not so much. Or perhaps it is everything.' He turned
to face her. 'I cannot always let myself grieve, Sylviana. Can you
see that?' She nodded. 'But if you have to cry, I will try to
comfort you. . .as you once did for me.'
She felt a wall give way inside her. She didn't answer, but slowly
put her head to his chest, silently begging to be held. And finally the
tears came. He held her warmly, feeling so many things. At length she
drew back, and held his eyes with hers. There was only one way out of
this desert. Here and now.
'Kalus..... Will you sleep with me tonight? Not to make love---'
He put a finger to her lips. He knew what she meant. They stayed there
by the entrance a while longer, then went together to the bed.
Akar ate solemnly, without pleasure, then returned to the isolated hell
of his thoughts.
Chapter 12
Morning came softly by the riverbed, with a cool northeastern breeze
that rustled the changing willow leaves and sent long waves of golden
brown across a gentle sea of grass: the Savanna.
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