What I felt with my
mind and what I felt with my body always at this time seemed
apart. I cannot accurately describe the interest and attraction
that women then were to me. I only know I never felt anything
like it for men. All my feelings of desire to do kindnesses, to
give presents, to be liked and respected and all such natural
small matters, referred to women, not to men, and at this time,
both openly and to myself, I said unhesitatingly that I liked
women best. It must be remembered that at this time a dislike for
men was being fostered in me by those who wanted me to marry, and
this must have counted for more than I now remember.
"As regards my physical sexual feelings, which were well
established during these few years, I don't think I often
indulged in any erotic imaginations worth estimating, but so far
as I did at all, I always imagined myself as a man loving a
woman. I cannot recall ever imagining the opposite, but I seldom
imagined anything at all, and I suppose ultimate sex sensations
know no sex.
"But as time went on and my physical and psychical feelings met,
at any rate in my own mind, I became fully aware of the meaning
of love and even, of homosexual possibilities.
Pages:
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574