We were not allowed to wear enough clean linen,
and for five years I never felt clean.
"I never had one moment to myself, was not allowed to read
anything, had even not enough lesson books, was taught nothing to
speak of except a little inferior music and drawing. I never got
enough exercise, and was always tired and dull, and could not
keep my digestion in order. My pride and self-respect were
degraded in innumerable ways, I suffered agonies of disgust, and
the whole thing was a dreary penal servitude.
"I did not complain. I made friends with a few of the girls. Some
of the older girls were attracted to me. Some talked of men and
love affairs to me, but I was not greatly interested. No one ever
spoke of any other matters of sex to me or in my hearing, but
most of the girls were shy with me and I with them.
"In about two years' time the teachers got to like me and thought
me one of their nicest girls. I certainly influenced them and got
them to allow the girls more privileges.
"I lay great stress upon the physical privations and disgust that
I felt during these years.
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