O. and the opportunities for meeting
became rarer, but their affection was maintained and the
intercourse resumed whenever it was possible. Gradually, however,
Edmund became interested in women and finally married. M.O. also
formed relations repeatedly with college friends and occasionally
with others.
On the whole M.O. preferred boys a year or two younger than
himself, but as he grew older the age difference increased. At 30
he regarded himself as virtually "engaged" to a youth of 17, one
unusually mature, however, and much larger than himself.
M.O. is always unhappy unless his affections have fairly free
course. Life has been very disappointing to him in other
respects. His greatest joys have come to him in this way. If he
is able to consummate his present plan of union with the youth
just referred to, he will feel that his life has been crowned by
what is for him the best possible end; otherwise, he declares, he
would not care to live at all.
He admires male beauty passionately. Feminine beauty he perceives
objectively, as he would any design of flowing curves and
delicate coloring, but it has no sexual charm for him whatever.
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