During the period of masochistic tendency, they
were masochistic in character; otherwise they have been dreams
simply of the naked embrace. Usually there has been a
considerable element of ideal love in the dream. I have not more
than three times at most dreamed of intercourse with one of the
opposite sex. There was only in one case anything that I could
call actual emotion in such a dream. The other dreams have often
(not always) been dreams of real yearning, and not at all what I
should call merely sensual.
"In the course of time I wanted more freedom to do things in my
own way than could be obtained in a public school. I started a
school of my own. The work was for a good many years very happy.
I loved the boys, and they loved me. I was active, ardent, and
they made a chum of me. But people got into the way of sending me
awkward customers. I poured out my love on these, I used myself
up for them. Unfortunately (though I was never 'orthodox') my
Puritanical morality was still strong within me, my views of
human psychology were too limited, and I imposed them on the
boys.
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