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Our genital organs
are with us ordinarily and usually organs of _expression_. The
clean-minded heterogenic man is apt to look upon such a view of
the genital organs as monstrous; we, on the other hand, are
compelled (at least for ourselves) to regard it as the natural
and pure one. For my own part I had many Puritan
prejudices--prejudices that I retained for many a long and weary
day--but my affection for those of my own sex so often expressed
itself by some sexual stirring, and more or less erection, that I
was _obliged_ to look upon this as inevitable, and in general I
paid no attention to it whatever. It was the older boys' who
sometimes attracted me strongly. My love for them was I know a
genuinely spiritual thing, though inevitably having some physical
expression. I was capable of great devotion to them and sacrifice
for them, and I would certainly rather have died than have
injured them. The boys got on well with me. I was never weak with
them, and I was able to allow all kinds of familiarities without
any loss of respect.


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