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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Sexual Inversion"

In the same way
I felt that one day I should like to be a schoolmaster, but I
dared not say so. A shy, retiring creature was obviously unfitted
for such occupations. Well, the teaching came about, and the
strange part was that the boys were somehow or other attracted
by me, and the 'worst' customers were attracted most. And there
came a chance of acting too. Owing to some difficulties about the
cast in a play at school, I took a part. After that I _knew_ that
(within a certain range) I could act. I spent two holidays with a
dramatic company. I should undoubtedly have remained on the
stage, but for one thing. I don't wish to be sanctimonious, but
dirty and ugly jokes are odious to me. It was this sort of thing
that drove me away. I threw myself into the school work instead.
"It was partly the dramatic interest, partly a quite genuine
interest in human nature, that led me to do some preaching too.
When I had been badly hurt by one or two youngsters whom I loved,
I thought of going in for pastoral work, but this too was given
up--and very wisely.


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