During these two years he still
really preferred men and used to admire the figures of soldiers
and sailors. He then paid a visit to London, which may be
described in his own words: "I went to see an old schoolfellow
who was living there. In his room was a young fellow, fair,
extremely good looking, with a good figure and charming manners.
From that moment all my past recollections came back. I could not
get him out of my mind; in fact, I was in love with him. I
pictured him naked before me as a lovely statue; my dreams were
frequent at night, always of him. For a fortnight afterward I
practised masturbation with the picture of his lovely face and
form always before me. We became fast friends, and from that day
women have never entered my thoughts."
Although up to the present he has no wish or intention to marry,
he believes that he will eventually do so, because it is thought
desirable in his profession; but he is quite sure that his love
and affection for men and boys will never lessen.
In earlier life he preferred men from 20 to 35; now he likes boys
from 16 upward; grooms, for instance, who must be good looking,
well developed, cleanly, and of a lovable, unchanging nature; but
he would prefer gentlemen.
Pages:
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384