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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Sexual Inversion"

One of the earliest was to imagine myself in a
tank with my three lovers floating in the water above me. From
this position I visited their limbs in turn; the attraction
rested in the thighs and buttocks only. I fancy this limitation
of the charm to the lower parts only lasted until actual
experience of a more complete embrace made me as much a lover of
the arms and breast; indeed, later I became more emotionally
enamored of these parts than of all the rest. At the beginning of
things I simply loved best what my mind could first get hold of.
"Quite early in my experience, when I was not more than 5, I
awoke earlier than usual, and saw my nurse standing in complete
nudity, commencing her toilet. She seemed to me a gross, coarse,
and meaningless object; the hair under her armpits displeased me,
and still more that on the lower part of her body. In the case of
men, directly I came to have cognizance of the same thing on
their bodies, the effect was exactly the opposite. It so happened
that about this time the gardener had received some injury to his
leg, and in showing the bruise to another exhibited before my
eyes a skin completely shagged over with dark hair.


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