When he once saw a schoolfellow copulating with a
little girl, it gave him a sense of mystical horror. Nor did the
sight of the male organs arouse any particular sensations. He is,
however, of opinion that, living with his sisters in childhood,
he felt more curious about his own sex as being more remote from
him. He showed no effeminacy in his preferences for games or
work.
He went to a public school. Here he was provoked by boy friends
to masturbate, but, though he often saw the act in process, it
only inspired him with a sense of indecency. In his fifteenth
year puberty commenced with nocturnal emissions, and, at the
same time, he began to masturbate, and continued to do so about
once a week, or once a fortnight, during a period of eight
months; always with a feeling that that was a poor satisfaction
and repulsive. His thoughts were not directed either to males or
females while masturbating. He spoke to his father about these
signs of puberty, and by his father's advice he entirely
abandoned onanism; he only resumed the practice, to some extent,
after the age of 30, when he was without male comradeship.
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