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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Sexual Inversion"

I think the attraction was a case of
love at sight, certainly on my side. A few nights later he had so
arranged that we shared a bedroom, and he very soon came over to
me and tenderly handled my person. I reciprocated and I look back
all these years to that night with pleasure and no feeling of
shame. On one occasion, about this time, I happened to be
sleeping with another young fellow (an office mate) on a holiday,
when I awoke and found him handling my penis caressingly. I
gently removed his hand and turned over. I thought none the less
of him, but my body seemed to belong only to myself and the
friend I loved. He was not an urning, I am sure, but we Were
often together and I much entered into his interests and felt
infinite satisfaction with life, made good progress and many
friends. Our physical intimacy was repeated, he taking the active
part in intercrural contact. Then he married very happily. Our
friendship remains, but circumstances prevent our often meeting,
and there is no longer desire on either part.
"For some years I was rather lonely in spite of friends.


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