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When about 7 a young man used to show me his penis and handle
mine occasionally. At private boarding school masturbation was
fairly frequent and I suppose I was initiated about 12 or 13.
After leaving I occasionally indulged, but nothing happened until
I was about 20, except that I was often attracted by strong,
well-built young men of good character; a man who was not honest
and good-hearted had no attraction. At 20 I was much attached to
a young man of my own age. He was engaged. This did not prevent
him on one occasion endeavoring playfully and with his brother to
obtain access to my person. I successfully resisted, although if
_he_ only had been present I should not have done so, but
welcomed the attempt, and I have often regretted I did not let
him know this. But I had a dim idea that my penis was somewhat
undeveloped and this made me shy. Circumstances separated us.
About two years later I was crossing the Channel when I engaged
in conversation with a man about eight years older, who was one
of our travelling party.


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