At the age of 121/2 years I took scarlet fever, followed
by a weak heart, which grew stronger after a year, and Bright's
disease, which lasted fifteen years with hardly a break. This
illness had its wonted effect of producing melancholia and
upsetting the whole nervous system. Bright's disease stopped
suddenly but was followed by a succession of illnesses. Then I
had neuritis very badly. I then removed to Bavaria, and to regain
nervous strength I was treated by Freud's psychoanalytical
method, with great success. I had a very bad relapse, as my
brother, who had just heard I was homosexual, came to visit me
and threatened to have me put under guardians, if my father
should die. It took me weeks to recover from the shock. We broke
off all intercourse and though my brother has been several times
in the same town where I have been, we remain strangers. At this
time my father died suddenly. Last spring four suicides of
friends in so many weeks had a very bad effect on my nerves. I am
now in Berlin in better spirits, but the cramp continues badly at
times.
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