This was
suddenly broken in upon. My friend was very beautiful and an
object of attraction to others. That some of the elder boys had
made offers of sexual intercourse to him I knew, but to him, as
to me, that was unspeakable wickedness. One day I heard that four
or five of these suitors of his had mishandled him; they had, I
believe, taken off his trousers and attempted to masturbate him.
The offense was probably horse play of an animal nature; to me it
seemed an unpardonable offense. The matter had been reported to
the master by a servant, but confirmatory evidence was needed
before punishment could follow. I was torn asunder by passions I
could not then analyze and in the end committed the greatest of
schoolboy crimes,--I sneaked. The action under the circumstances
was courageous, but I was indifferent so long as the boy I loved
judged me rightly. The result was that at the close of the term
four or five of the senior boys were 'asked to leave.' The
remaining brief period of my school life, which had previously
been a living hell, became really happy.
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