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No attempt was made at
discrimination. A kiss was as unclean as the act of _fellatio_,
and no one had any gauge or principle whatever on which to guide
the cravings of boyhood.
"My first initiation into the mysteries of sex was at the hands
of the dormitory servant, who showed me his penis when he woke me
in the mornings, and masturbated me when he gave me my hot bath
on a Saturday night. This old reprobate of 45 committed the act
of _fellatio_ with most of the boys in turn as he went the
dormitory rounds. For the older lads I cannot speak, but over us
younger ones of 14 and 15 he exercised a sort of unholy terror
and fascination. He was very popular; we came to him like doves
to a snake. When I revisited my old school many years later he
was occupying a very responsible position in the college chapel,
and I noticed that he wore that expression of sly reverence which
I think I can now instantly detect when I see it in a man.
"For the rest the dormitory was boisterous and lewd, and there
was a good deal of bullying, which probably did little harm.


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