He
was playing in the garden when he saw a manservant who had long
been with the family, standing at the door of a shed with his
penis exposed and erect. The boy had never seen anything of the
kind before, but felt great delight in the exhibition and moved
shyly toward the man, who retreated into the shed. The boy
followed and was allowed to caress and play with the penis until
ejaculation took place, the man replying, in reply to the child's
innocent inquiries, that it "felt good." This experience was
frequently repeated with the same man, and the boy confided in a
boy friend, with whom he tried to ascertain by personal
experience what the "good feeling" was like, but they were too
young to derive any pleasure from the attempt beyond the joy of
what was instinctively felt to be "eating forbidden fruit."
From this period his sexual tendencies began to become fixed and
self-conscious. He has never at any period of life had a moment's
conscious sexual attraction toward a person of the opposite sex.
His warmest friendships have, indeed, been with women and much,
perhaps most, of the happiness he has enjoyed has been furnished
by those friendships.
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