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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Sexual Inversion"

I never cared much for history or for
scientific subjects. From the beginning, too, I showed a strong
artistic bent, and possessed an overpowering love for all things
beautiful. As a child I was passionately fond of flowers, loved
to be in the woods and alone, and wanted to become an artist. My
parents opposed the latter wish and I gave way before their
opposition.
"In me the homosexual nature is singularly complete, and is
undoubtedly congenital. The most intense delight of my childhood
(even when a tiny boy in a nurse's charge) was to watch acrobats
and riders at the circus. This was not so much for the skillful
feats as on account of the beauty of their persons. Even then I
cared chiefly for the more lithe and graceful fellows. People
told me that circus actors were wicked, and would steal little
boys, and so I came to look upon my favorites as half-devil and
half-angel. When I was older and could go about alone, I would
often hang around the tents of travelling shows in hope of
catching a glimpse of the actors.


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