This, combined with the solitary condition of my
life, and about four years' continued ill-treatment prior to my
mother's death (she had given way to drink for that period), had
a very injurious effect on my health, mental and bodily. Looking
back from my present point of view, I can understand and forgive
many things which appeared monstrous and unjust to me as a child.
My mother's life must have been a very unhappy one, and she was
bitterly disappointed in many ways, very likely in me as well. My
unfortunate, misunderstood temperament led me to be shy and
secretive, and I was often ailing, and my training was not
calculated to improve matters. At last, however, change and
freedom came, and I was sent to a boarding-school. Here, of
course, I soon met with attachments and gratifications with other
boys. I arrived at puberty, and my health improved under happier
surroundings. I was not long in discovering that my companions
viewed the pleasures that meant so much to me from an entirely
different standpoint. Their gratifications were usually
accompanied by conversation about, and a general direction of
thought toward, females.
Pages:
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250