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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Sexual Inversion"

I can hear it quite plainly.'
"So far my details are purely innocent. Up to 18, familiarities
passed at intervals between me and the son of the village doctor,
a youth about two years older than myself, and precociously
immoral. I did not really care for him much, but he was my chief
companion. Then I became a school-assistant, and for about six
years managed to control myself, only, alas, to fall again.
Another resolution I kept for eight years, one long fight with my
nature. Again I sinned in three instances, extending over three
or four years. I now come to a very painful and eventful episode
in my unhappy life which I would gladly pass over were it
possible. It was a case, in middle life, of sin, discovery, and
great folly in addition.
"Before going into details, so far as may be necessary, I cannot
help asking you to consider calmly and dispassionately my exact
condition compared with that of my fellow-creatures as a whole.
In my struggles to resist in the past, I have at times felt as if
wrestling in the folds of a python.


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