Then my
father became the vicar of a country village, where I lived until
I went out into the world at the age of 18. As during the whole
of this time my father had a few pupils, I was educated with
them, and never went to school. I was born, I fancy, with sexual
passions about as strong as can well be imagined, and at the same
time was very precocious in my entry into the stage of puberty.
Semen began to form a little before my twelfth birthday; hair
soon followed, and in a year I was in that respect the equal of
an average boy of 15 or 16. I conversed freely with my companions
on the relations of the sexes, but, unlike them, had no personal
feeling toward girls. In time I became conscious that I was
different, as I then believed, and believe now, from all other
men. My sexual organs were quite perfect. But in the frame of a
man I had the sexual mind of a female. I distinctly disclaim the
faintest inclination to perform unnatural acts; the idea of
committing sodomy would be _most disgusting_.
"To come to my actual condition of mind: While totally
indifferent to the person of woman (I always enjoyed their
friendship and companionship, and many of my best friends have
been ladies), I had a burning desire to have carnal intercourse
with a male, and had the capacity for falling in love, as it is
called, to the utmost extent.
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