"
He has, however, never had any intimate relationships with men,
and much that he has heard of such relationships fills him with
horror.
"What I feel about myself is," he writes, "that I have to a
certain extent, or in some respects, a feminine mind in a male
body; or, I might put it that I am a combination of an immoral
(in tendency, rather than in act) woman and a religious man.
From time to time I have felt strong affection for young men, but
I cannot flatter myself that my affection has been reciprocated.
At the present time there is a young fellow (23 years old) who
acts as my clerk and sits in my room. He is extremely
good-looking, and of a type which is generally considered
'aristocratic,' but so far as I (or he) know, he is quite of the
lower middle class. He has little to recommend him but a fine
face and figure, and there is nothing approaching to mental or
social equality between us. But I constantly feel the strongest
desire to treat him as a man might a young girl he warmly loved.
Various obvious considerations keep me from more than
quasi-paternal caresses, and I feel sure he would resent very
strongly anything more.
Pages:
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212