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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven"


He looked at me very stern, and says--
"That is not true; and this is not the place for prevarication.
You wandered from your course. How did that happen?"
Says I, blushing again--
"I'm sorry, and I take back what I said, and confess. I raced a
little with a comet one day--only just the least little bit--only
the tiniest lit--"
"So--so," says he--and without any sugar in his voice to speak of.
I went on, and says--
"But I only fell off just a bare point, and I went right back on my
course again the minute the race was over."
"No matter--that divergence has made all this trouble. It has
brought you to a gate that is billions of leagues from the right
one. If you had gone to your own gate they would have known all
about your world at once and there would have been no delay. But
we will try to accommodate you." He turned to an under clerk and
says--
"What system is Jupiter in?"
"I don't remember, sir, but I think there is such a planet in one
of the little new systems away out in one of the thinly worlded
corners of the universe. I will see."
He got a balloon and sailed up and up and up, in front of a map
that was as big as Rhode Island. He went on up till he was out of
sight, and by and by he came down and got something to eat and went
up again. To cut a long story short, he kept on doing this for a
day or two, and finally he came down and said he thought he had
found that solar system, but it might be fly-specks.


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