Tears
overcome me as I write these lines, tears of tenderness and despair,
for I foresee the future, and I shall need that devoted mother on the
day of my triumph! But when will that day come?"
Lastly, he explained the necessity of his isolation and excused himself
for it: "Some day, when my works are developed, you will realise that
it required many an hour to think out and write so many things; then
you will absolve me for all that has displeased you, and you will
pardon, not the egoism of the man (for he has none), but the egoism of
the thinker and worker."
Towards the middle of July he left Sache in order to go to Angouleme,
to visit Mme. Carraud, whose husband had been appointed Inspector of
the Powder Works, just outside the town. He arrived there on the 17th,
intending to stay five weeks and happy to have reached this friendly
asylum. Mme. Carraud was one of the women who had the most faith in
Balzac; she was the recipient of his confidences, even the most
delicate ones; and when his conduct displeased her she did not hesitate
to take him to task.
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