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Various

"Successful Recitations"


"The Sarpint was a-havin' of his dinner, and so
She perposed as how we should fly--
But, sez I to meself, 'What, take _you_ back?
Not if I knose it,' sez I.
"'But how about them there tails?' I sez--
'On shore _them_ will niver doo;'
She sez, 'Yer silly, why, karn't yer see,
They're only fixed on wi' a screw?'
"So I tells her as how I'll go fetch the old ship
Wile she's a-unscreuing of her tails;
But when I gets back to the _Crazy Jane_
I finds there a couple of wales.
"I jist had time to see the biggest of the two
A-swallerin' of the ship right whole,
And in one more momint he swallered me too,
As true as I'm a livin' sole.
"But when he got to the surfis of the sea,
A summat disagreed with that wale,
And he up with me and the _Crazy Jane_ and all--
And this 'ere's the end of my tail."
* * * * *
Then this old ainshunt mariner, he sez unto me--
And 'onesty was shinin' in hiz eyes--
"_It's jist the sort o' story wot no one won't beleeve--
But it's true, little nipper, if I dies_,"


THE AMATEUR ORLANDO.


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