"Now, any man kin have a meat-and-muscle leg; they're as
common as dirt. It's disgusting how monotonous people are about such
things. But I take you for a man who wants to be original. You have
style about you. You go it alone, as it were. Now, if I had your
peculiarities, do you know what I'd do? I'd get a leg snatched off
some way, so's I could walk around on this one. Or, it you hate to go
to the expense of amputation, why not get your pantaloons altered,
and mount this beautiful work of art just as you stand? A centipede,
a mere ridicklous insect, has half a bushel of legs, and why can't a
man, the grandest creature on earth, own three? You go around this
community on three legs, and your fortune's made. People will go wild
over you as the three-legged grocer; the nation will glory in you;
Europe will hear of you; you will be heard of from pole to pole.
It'll build up your business. People'll flock from everywheres to see
you, and you'll make your sugar and cheese and things fairly hum.
Look at it as an advertisement! Look at it any way you please, and
there's money in it--there's glory, there's immortality. Now, look at
it that way; and if it strikes you, I tell you what I'll do: I'll
actually swap that imperishable leg off to you for two pounds of
water-crackers and a tin cupful of Jamaica rum.
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