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Various

"Successful Recitations"

It makes the most efficient potato-masher ever
you saw. Work it from the second joint, and let the knee swing loose;
you kin tack carpets perfectly splendid with the heel; and when a cat
sees it coming at him from the winder, he just adjourns, _sine die_,
and goes down off the fence screaming. Now, you're probably afeared
of dogs. When you see one approaching, you always change your base. I
don't blame you; I used to be that way before I lost my home-made
leg. But you fix yourself with this artificial extremity, and then
what do you care for dogs? If a million of 'em come at you, what's
the odds? You merely stand still and smile, and throw out your spare
leg, and let 'em chaw, let 'em fool with that as much as they've a
mind to, and howl and carry on, for you don't care. An' that's the
reason why I say that when I reflect on how imposing you'd be as the
owner of such a leg, I feel like saying, that if you insist on
offering only a dollar and a half for it, why, take it; it's yours.
I'm not the kinder man to stand on trifles. I'll take it off and wrap
it up in paper for you; shall I?"
"I'm sorry," said Brown, "but the fact is, I have no use for it. I've
got two good legs already. If I ever lose one, why, maybe, then
I'll----"
"I don't think you exactly catch my idea on the subject," said the
stranger.


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