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Various

"Successful Recitations"




MR. BARKER'S PICTURE.
BY MAX ADELER.

"Your charge against Mr. Barker, the artist here," said the
magistrate, "is assault and battery, I believe?"
"Yes, sir."
"And your name is----"
"Potts! I am art critic of the _Weekly Spy_."
"State your case."
"I called at Mr. Barker's studio upon his invitation to see his great
picture, just finished, of 'George Washington cutting down the
cherry-tree with his hatchet.' Mr. Barker was expecting to sell it to
Congress for fifty thousand dollars. He asked me what I thought of
it, and after I had pointed out his mistake in making the handle of
the hatchet twice as thick as the tree, and in turning the head of
the hatchet around, so that George was cutting the tree down with the
hammer end, I asked him why he foreshortened George's leg so as to
make it look as if his left foot was upon the mountain on the other
side of the river."
"Did Mr. Barker take it kindly?" asked the justice.
"Well, he looked a little glum--that's all. And then when I asked him
why he put a guinea-pig up in the tree, and why he painted the
guinea-pig with horns, he said it was not a guinea-pig but a cow; and
that it was not in the tree, but in the background. Then I said that,
if I had been painting George Washington, I should not have given him
the complexion of a salmon-brick, I should not have given him two
thumbs on each hand, and I should have tried not to slue his right
eye around so that he could see around the back of his head to his
left ear.


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