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Various

"Successful Recitations"

"
"James, the horrid thing shall _not_ come here! If it should kick
baby we should never forgive ourselves."
"No, no, my dear, I don't think the _stork_ is at all ferocious. No,
it can't be. Stork! stork! I always associate storks with chimneys.
Yes, abroad, I think in Holland, or Germany, or somewhere, the stork
sweeps the chimneys with its long legs from the top. But let's see
what the Natural History says, my dear. That will tell us all about
it. Stork--um--um--'hind toe short, middle toe long, and joined to
the outer one by a large membrane, and by a smaller one to the inner
toe.' Well, _that_ won't matter much for one night, will it, dear?
'His height often exceeds four feet.'"
"_Four_ feet!!!" interrupted my wife. "James, how high are you?"
"Well, my dear, really, comparisons are exceedingly
disagreeable--um--um--'appetite extremely voracious,' and his
food--hulloa! 'frogs, mice, worms, snails, and eels!'"
"Frogs, mice, worms, snails, and eels," repeated my wife. "James, do
you expect me to provide supper and breakfast of this description for
the horrid thing?"
"Well, my dear, we must do our best for baby's sake, you know, for
baby's sake," and, getting my hat, I left as usual for the office.


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