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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 19, 1917"


* * * * *
INTENSIVE RAINFALL.
"CUMBERLAND and WESTMORELAND.--After a ten weeks' drought
we have had three weeks' rain every day."--_Daily Paper_.
* * * * *
"Officer's camp kit wanted, in good condition, Sam Browne
belt (5 ft. 7), haversack, &c."--_Scotsman_.
In readiness for this hero's arrival at the Front the
communication-trenches are being specially widened.
* * * * *
"I WISH--
"That it were possible to get frying-pans that would stand
LEVEL when one is cooking in them."--_Home Chat_.
It is so awkward to be tilted out of the frying-pan into the fire.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _C.O. (to sentry)._ "DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENCE SCHEME FOR
THIS SECTOR OF THE LINE, MY MAN?"
_Tommy._ "YES, SIR."
_C.O._ "WELL, WHAT IS IT, THEN?"
_Tommy._ "TO STAY 'ERE AND FIGHT LIKE 'ELL."]
* * * * *
THE GREAT OFFENCE.
As everybody knows, a Gurkha is first of all a rifleman, but apart
from his rifle (which to a hill-man is both meat and raiment) there
are two other treasures very dear to the little man's heart.


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